sick AND tired

The one thing I hate more than anything is being sick. I can handle being tired.....I can handle being exhausted.....honestly I can even handle walking around like a zombie as long as I'm healthy. My immune system has never been amazing, but I would never get beyond that kind of uncomfortable cold thing. I will do whatever I can to avoid being bed ridden. Staying in bed all day when you're just having one of those incredibly lazy, I'm going to watch movies, and not get out of my pjs day is one thing. Feeling so awful you can't even sleep when you're stuck in bed is completely another.

Two weeks ago I got more sick than I've been in years. My whole body ached, I couldn't even lift my head and I was completely out of commission. I had just gotten back from Vancouver, hadn't even seen my roommate and I did not come out of my room for about 36 hours. It was so bad that yes at 22 years old I called my mom to come and make sure I was ok. I had no groceries (as always), nothing even to drink besides water and was so incapacitated that my mom came all the way downtown to make me feel better. Feeling like I was 12 again was possibly the funniest thing ever, but I absolutely loved it. Lately I've been so independent and off doing my own thing, feeling invincible as I like to think I am, that I forget what it feels like to have someone take care of me. To be honest, I like to believe that I don't need anyone to take care of me. I don't know where that comes from...could be from being surrounded by such strong women. Whatever it is, I finally let myself ask for help and it felt good. After some good Orlando loving I was thankfully back to normal.

So you can imagine how upset I was when yesterday I was losing my voice and started to feel a little under the weather. I tried to ignore it and blame it on over working myself, etc. etc. BUT this morning I woke up with a crazy high fever. I AM SICK AGAIN! I am so sick and tired of this. What are the odds of getting so sick again in less than two weeks? I was not impressed that I had to cancel my plans and stay inside all day....again. I have so much work to do (school and work work) that I can't afford to take a day off....which is exactly what I had to do. I'm mad that my body is not as strong as I want it to be. I'm mad that I'm sitting here feeling awful when I could be out doing a million things.

So beyond frustrated right now.....