Thursday, June 26, 2008

feeling the pressure...

On the way to the gym this morning, I really opened up to Mimi about some of the pressure I had been feeling lately. Believe me, I am not the type of person that usually talks like this. I think I´m a pretty private person, except with my close friends, and usually keep a lot to myself. My mom is always telling me it´s not good to keep it all inside, but I like to think I can handle everything on my own. That´s just my type of personality I guess. I don´t want to be a burden on other people or have to rely on others so I come off as having this crazy tough as nails persona, especially with my coach. Mimi is constantly telling me to tell her when I´m in too much pain, etc. etc. but I like to think I am invincible. I think most of the time it works in my favour, but there are times when I need to ask for help and I don´t. So here I was reaching out to my coach for some advice. We had an amazing conversation and I was able to get a lot off my chest that had been on my mind for awhile now.

Basically, now that my injury is practically healed and I´m back in the gym with full force I´ve realized that the Canadian and International gymnastics community hasn´t seen me since early April. That is a long time to be off the scene and I started feeling worried that people were doubting my ability to come back from it. I have the most incredible support system ever, but I still had this feeling that there were people out there concerned that I wouldn´t be able to compete well at the Olympics. Honestly, I never doubted for a second that I would be back even stronger for August. Yes it hasn´t been easy, but I´ve never back downed from any challenge that was thrown at me. My coach reassured me that there will always be people who try and put you down or worry that even though you had come through for them before you might not be able to do it this time. It´s sad to me to think that those people are out there, but in the end I know what I have to do and what I´m capable of. I can´t wait to get out there and prove all of them wrong. I think I have an edge walking into the Olympics with being out of the competitive loop these past couple of weeks. No one will know what to expect and I am expecting to blow them all away. Mimi really helped me get rid of all those negative feelings and extra pressure I was putting on myself. She reminded me that it was my first Olympics ever and that will be extremely nerve racking, no matter how physically prepared I am. Whatever happens it will happen for a reason, but she is behind me all the way.

Thanks for everything Mimi!

1 comment:

marso said...

You are the best and have nothing to prove to anyone. Just go out there and be yourself. You have done so much for Canadian RG. I can't wait to be sitting in the stands in Beijing waving Ray's big flag and cheering you on! Have a great experience.