WELCOME TO MY LIFE. TAKE IT IN. CLOSE YOUR EYES. FREE FALL.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
A New Life
After the Olympics, I honestly didn't think I would ever use my blog again. I basically made it only to write about my prep for Beijing and to let my friends and family know where I was and what I was going through. When I officially retired I didn't really think there was any point to have it anymore. I still hate saying I retired...I don't think I'm ready to be ok with the idea that I might never compete ever again. I know that I needed to take this year for myself and I would never regret or doubt that decision. It was very clear that my body and mind needed a break from the sport. The injuries alone from the last year and a half plus the pressure I was putting on myself definitely took its toll. It's just weird to say that I retired at 21. I would by lying if I said I didn't miss it. Deep down I loved to train, even when it was taking 40 hours out of my week. There were always good and bad weeks, but it felt so good to be doing something that I loved and that I was good at. It sounds horrible to say that, but it's hard to explain. I guess knowing that you have this crazy confidence when you're in one place and being one person is exhilarating. It's comfortable...it's so safe. Now that I don't spend hours and hours in the gym, I'm thrown into this world where I have to find that feeling somewhere else. It's kind of like finding myself again.
The Toronto Star recently put out this article below and I think it sums up exactly where I am right now...